Saturday, November 28, 2015

A tail of five cats

As the years go by, the tale grows taller. A tail of five cats. It may be too short for many and too long for many more. It's hard to satisfy all. But this is it:

Bonnie - Bonnie's tail has been stumped, be it by nature or by misfortunes of nurture. She never disclosed to me the exact circumstances. I like to run through her unnaturally short tail with my fingers. You can feel the ending is abrupt, lacking the usual arrow head tip. The tail itself may be short, but still fully functional, especially when it comes to restful positions. You's gotta love that lazy tail.

Wimbelina - A much more graceful tail, has all the necessary bits and parts. A very agile and versatile tail. It can stand fully erect when needed and can bend in all directions at rest or while performing exquisite balancés and brisés. Can also be tucked away elegantly under the owners trunk. A tail for all seasons.

Joely Pants - Thick as a rope and long as a whip. A frightful member. And yet, you see it mostly a tergo, when its owner is fleeing the scene. Any scene, that is. As the saying goes - God gives nuts to the toothless.

Norsky - Wonderfully designed splashy tail, grey like the overcast weather this time of year, indispensable to the overall structure of Norsky. On the down side, it's a high maintenance tail, difficult to keep clean and knot-free. Causes a lot of discomfort and grumpiness when you try to brush it. So you tend not to.

Aerial - A twitching and quivering tail, when the owner gets excited. Bendy like Beckham Victoria. Appears like a horizontal question mark while walking and at times almost broken, like a stick in water. The most intellectually challenging tail.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Aerial the mixer


Yesterday afternoon, while utilizing the last rays of sun this season can possibly offer to the noble purpose of sweeping the dirt off the sidewalk, I noticed a lady with two small dogs approaching. I immediately stopped sweeping to enjoy this rather rare sight and she too came to a halt, perhaps because I was blocking her passage. Be that as it may, we soon developed a nice little rapport despite being complete strangers to one another. While I was holding on to my broom she was keeping her hands busy with the leashes of two buzz cut and checkers colored lap dogs. Before long it emerged, we have indeed mutual friends; none other than our own special Aerial happens to be a frequent guest at the lady's home, not more than a few houses down the road. What is more, Aerial seems to get along surprisingly well with the two dogs. Naturally one is led to speculate as to why, if so, he has so many social issues with his fellow felines back home.

According to one far fetched theory, Aerial enjoys mixing the races and the genders and the species. Partly for fun and partly to enrage the clerics and the high priests of purity.

Another theory purports that Aerial has made a diabolic deal with the enemies of his enemies. But such a lovely cat would never ever do that. No f..... way

A third theory maintains that Aerial is suffering from some cat version of Capgras Syndrome that is turning life among his feline friends into a tormenting experience. And as a corollary, makes life among a different species soothingly cozy.

Lastly, it could be argued that Aerial is the eternal meanderer or a Wandering Willie, bored with the familiar and excited by discovering new territories and long lost branches of the family tree. At least in evolutionary terms...

Let us all applaud him!

Friday, November 6, 2015

Newly (and never before) publicized cat poem by TS Elliot in the Sunday Times


The gourmet cat was of course Cumberleylaude


The gourmet cat was of course Cumberleylaude,
Who did very little to earn his dinner and board,
Indeed, he was always out and about,
Patronising the haunts where he would find,
People are generous and nice and kind,
Serving good food to this culinary lout!

With care he chooses his place to dine,
And dresses accordingly, if he has time,
Tasting all that Neville Road offers,
With never a thought for anyone's coffers!
The best is only fit for the best he opines,
When he wants salmon, or duck, or expensive French wines.

Until one day when he will find,
All of the doors closed and the windows blind,
Then monocle and cane he will have to discard
And realise that hunting isn't so hard,
That mouse is tasty and starling sweet,
And that Neville Road is a bounteous street!