The sad case of reverend Masterson

Reverend Masterson was a highly revered member of his presbyterian community in the county of Fife. Convivial and rotund, he ambulated between the homes of his parish, paying frequent visits in particular to recently widowed women and young damsels in distress, who were in need of a quantum of solace. As far as anyone could tell, he was also a devoted husband and faither. Nevertheless, one day, upon returning from his usual service-to-the-community round, he was spun into his own web of lies by his wife and hoisted upwards to a corner in the ceiling where she unceremoniously sucked him dry with her sharp canines. After a week or so, he was properly crispy and she cut him loose with her knife-long nails and let him resume his responsibilities. The congregants did notice that there was something a bit off about Masterson's general demeanor, the first time he held a Sunday sermon after his "treatment", but they couldn't tell exactly what it was. And the widows and the young damsels in distress, were henceforth both sad and relieved.

Magnum

Doing tongue work on the polity of the ice cream,
racing to the bottom of the ice cream stick,
against raging time and a remorseless sun above,
droplets fall to the ground, like golden beads from a TIG welder,
- the chocolate coating lost the plot, it never stood a chance -
a hungry dog runs up and down to catch the sad remains,
but way too late, for all intents, the thrill is long gone.

Joelly Pants' dream

Joelly Pants is sleeping soundly on the blanket, while treading the fine line between dreaming and dreading, the two modes of existence, he's most familiar with. I walk around the rooms of the house in a steady pace, no sudden movements, creating a predictable tapestry of homely background noise so as not to break the spell. This is his dream, culled off the top of his head: "There's a nice birdie, totally oblivious of me crawling on my tummy towards her. A few meters to go and she's mine forever. Oh, no, I think she's spotted me. She's looking askance at me, in clear disapproval of my endeavor. Now I must stay completely motionless for a good while...if I can...so she'd think I'm part of the turf and don't harbor any antisocial urges. While I'm lying like that, in wait for the right moment to strike, I might as well snooze a little and dream about times gone by, when there were a bunch of us and I wasni on me own. Norsky was here, Aerial was here, Wimbelina, my sister, was here and even our mom, Bonnie, was here. Those were the days, and I kinda miss them, despite me then being at the bottom of the social structure. Now, I'm the top cat alright, but there's no joy in it, it feels kinda vacuous going on living without the pride. Maybe that's why I yowl so much these days. Ffs. it can be quite annoying even to me, but once I get started, I keep going at it. The birdie is gone too, and I'm hit once more by bright, brutal reality. I guess, I can stop pretending to be a furry rug. I should rather get back to base for another round of delicious dietary pellets. The humdrum noises of a cockamamie human are reaching me now. No respect for an auld feline at all, as per usual. Time to wake up!"  

Fifteen Stray Elephants

The fifteen stray elephants in China who recently left their habitat are still wandering about towards an unknown destination and are said to be in good health: Kris, Robert, Bruce and Caitlyn are the more mature and experienced elephants. They lead the herd and are the first to taste the fresh food, the authorities put out for them en route, to avoid unnecessary clashes with the locals. The bunch is followed by youngish Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Kendall and Kylie and a few more whose names also start with a K. The whole world is watching with breathless excitement their movements across fields, villages and towns. Hopefully, they will make the cut and line up for another season of The Truman Elephant Show.

The amazing return of Kika the cat

Regular readers of this page, should there be any, have already met Kika the cat in a previous post. She's an incarnated homebody, a somewhat shy yet majestic cat that is used to live indoors in an apartment on the third floor in the city of Hertzliyah. It was therefore even more of a shock when she disappeard one fine morning, over three months ago. You see, she had an appointment with the vet, but managed to wriggle out of the cat carrier and escape, much to the chagrin of her owners Ilanka and Shani. A thorough search was conducted, as is customary in such cases, but Kika was nowhere to be found. After many weeks of sorrow, worry and despair, Ilanka and Shani were hitting rock bottom. They decided therefore to adopt another cat, a ginger fellow called Henry, to fill the void left by Kika. However, Henry had no intention of settling down in Hertzliyah of all places, having far greater ambitions in life, and he was making no bones about it. In the following weeks, Ilanka and Shani were frankly bullyragged by malcontent Henry and hence saw no other option than returning him to his owner. More time elapsed, days turned into weeks and weeks into another month before something quite extraordinary happened: Reports were coming in to headquarters about Kika roaming around the yard and the wider yardage of the street. Now even more timid after long months of freedom and deprivation, she never paused for smalltalk with her owners or the neighbors and was quite impossible to detain for a longer discourse. After a week or so in that manner, Shani summoned a professional cat catcher, who was equipped with a special carrier a cat would care to investigate and before she knew it, therein sat Kika, to the delight and great happiness of her owners. In the ensuing weeks, Kika was still not her old self, but the word is, she's catching up and is much more at ease these days. A truly happy ending this is, and may it stay that way! 

Old man sea

I'm an old man now, but the sea was wasted on me. I've never liked it much, though it looks great from every angle and is always ready for a photo op. I still recall my first encounter with a red hot Medusa and the escape from someone with a sexual orientation in the toilets on the ferry Ask and how I landed on Omaha Beach under steel gray skies and howling bullets. I really like the most Rema-1000 vanilla ice cream-boats, those with the crispy chocolate coating and the thin chewy waffle that Jesus' disciples sailed into the Mediterranean, all the way to Laodicea and Colossae. I never cease to regret not having acquainted myself with the Delphinidae family, and all the pebbles I mistook for amber.

Life unto life

Nothing quite compares to the smell of a well disinfected body M/W in the morning. The fragrance of life unto life (Corinthians 2:16).