Reverend Masterson was a highly revered member of his presbyterian community in the county of Fife. Convivial and rotund, he ambulated between the homes of his parish, paying frequent visits in particular to recently widowed women and young damsels in distress, who were in need of a quantum of solace. As far as anyone could tell, he was also a devoted husband and faither. Nevertheless, one day, upon returning from his usual service-to-the-community round, he was spun into his own web of lies by his wife and hoisted upwards to a corner in the ceiling where she unceremoniously sucked him dry with her sharp canines. After a week or so, he was properly crispy and she cut him loose with her knife-long nails and let him resume his responsibilities. The congregants did notice that there was something a bit off about Masterson's general demeanor, the first time he held a Sunday sermon after his "treatment", but they couldn't tell exactly what it was. And the widows and the young damsels in distress, were henceforth both sad and relieved.
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